I once read a book 'Getting a PhD'.
But I never thought it was gonna be a lot more challenging.
I remember those diffult days I had faced in my way to get a Bachelor and a Masters degree in the States. It's a hectic life. Everyone is competetive. It is a demanding society. I got the degrees but I failed to learn the wisdoms, one of which is that I should have improved myself on how to manage stress..
Yes, my problem is I don't know how to manage stress.
Everybody knows that a PhD is an independent work. To complete a small task requires knowledge in many many area, so even the small task would end up taking few days, or even weeks. Because everything is learnt by oneself. No classes. No teachers.
Sometimes it can be very stressful. Not because I hate doing what I am doing. In fact, I love doing research. I am stressful because of the expectation I put on myself. I always want things to get done in a fastest yet perfect way. Woa!..now I realize that these two words are themselves pain in the neck! Shouldn't we be doing the BEST, and the best is not necessarily FASTEST n PERFECT?
Yes, at the end of the day, I learn the knowledge that I ought to know. But I must ask myself, have I learnt the wisdom?
A PhD is not just about the degree and knowledge. More importantly it is about how well one manages to cope with the stress and handle the challenges in a positive way. A PhD can teach you to be humble, when you realize that there are many small things you do not know. But instead, many people end up being arrogant with the PhD degree that they finally got. Haven't they got the wisdom? Binggo!
This is in fact a reminder for me. I better start learning the wisdom as much as I learn the knowledge. Knowledge is IQ, but wisdom is EQ (emotional quotient) and SQ (spiritual quotient).
I am lucky I have a sifu in this matter - my very own husband. He is really good at this. He always sees things in positive ways, and he is always be grateful. I really admire this part of him. He may look serious on the outside, but he is really cool in the inside. I like that! Now, the question is, how did he become one of that kind? I saw him reading a lot. And when he reads, he doesn't just read. He adsorbs the wisdom. Same thing when he sees something. One time we were laying on the couch, looking outside through the big glass windows. There was a tree and we saw some birds, and he said "look at the birds. what can we learn from them?" then he continued "They birds don't have house. They go from one tree to another. Yet, they are happy and never get worried!"
It is when we see things in a poitive way that we would not create stress.
Time to read a book. And not just read!