Salam buat semua,
Mohon maaf..blog ini sudah tidak aktif. Penulisan sy berpindah ke blog baru: http://sum-reflection.blogspot.co.nz/
Jumpa di sana ;)
Wassalam
s.u.m
Saya baru kehilangan seorang abah, satu-satunya ayah mertua saya di dunia ini...abah Ayob bin Zainal. Abah kembali ke rahmatullah pada 12.6.2011, ketika kami sekeluarga masih berada di bumi New Zealand. Saat saya mendengar khabar berita pemergian abah, saya menangis sendiri, dan perasaan rindukan abah datang tanpa diundang, sama seperti rindunya saya pada Allahyarham emak, emak Supiah Binti Sario. Satu persatu wajah dan gambaran abah singgah di ingatan saya bersama kenangan interaksi saya bersama abah.
Sebenarnya tak begitu lama saya sempat menjadi anak menantu abah yg kedua. Hanya lebih kurang 3 tahun. Tapi cukup untuk saya merasa kasih sayang abah. Saya tak akan pernah lupa abah memasakkan dengan kedua tangannya sendiri lauk favorite saya, iaitu sardin, setiap kali saya balik ke rumah mereka. Memang sardin masakan abah sangat sedap. Dan saya masih ingat, saya cakap kat abah yang saya teringin nak makan manggis, dan tak lama kemudian abah pulang ke rumah dengan seplastik buah manggis.
Abah juga akan kecoh apabila buah jambu air depan rumahnya masak ranum, sebab dia tahu anak menantunya yang sorang ni sangat suka makan buah jambu. Dan saya masih ingat dan sangat ingat, ada satu waktu, terdapat sebuah kedai bubble tea di Giant Senawang...saya cakap yang air bubble tea ni memang favorite saya...tau-tau je abah dah balik rumah dengan beberapa bungkus air buble tea..satu untuk emak, satu untuk abah, dan satu untuk saya!
Malah abah pernah bertanya saya, ketika itu saya sedang makan dan abah duduk di kerusi favoritenya... dan saya takkan lupa kata-kata abah...”ape lagi yang ekau teringin nak makan, umi?” Saya terharu, dan saya tahu..abah sedang cuba menggembirakan anaknya ini. Masa tu saya jawab, saya teringin nak makan kupang, dan memang betul esoknya abah balik ke rumah membawa seplastik kupang.
Saya tahu, abah sayang saya.
Abah juga ramah dengan saya. Kalau saya balik kampung, ada saja yang dia borakkan dengan saya. Abah gemar bertanya tentang study saya, pengalaman saya belajar di US, tentang kerja saya... walaupun saya selalu mendengar cerita yang abah seorang yang sangat garang, tapi sepanjang saya mengenali abah, tak pernah abah bersikap garang walaupun sepanjang dua bulan saya berpantang di rumah mereka. Abah sentiasa berborak dengan saya dengan nada yang ramah, tak pernah memarahi atau meninggikan suaranya sehingga saya hampir susah untuk percaya yang abah seorang yang garang.
Pada saya, abah seorang abah yang baik...yang sentiasa cuba membuat saya berasa gembira di rumahnya dengan membeli kan apa-apa yang saya teringin nak makan, yang ramah dengan saya, yang sangat sayangkan anak saya. Saya berterima kasih kepada Allah kerana memberi saya kasih sayang seorang abah mertua. Walaupun kini takkan ada lagi sardin masakan abah, saya takkan pernah lupa kasih sayang abah pada saya.
Terima kasih abah..
Dan sekarang ini, setiap kali saya mengirimkan Al-fatihah dan doa untuk Allahyarham emak saya, saya pasti mengirimkannya untuk abah juga. Saya sentiasa berdoa kepada Allah semoga Allah mengasihi kedua insan yang saya sayangi ini seperti mana mereka mengasihi saya. Dan saya juga akan mencontohi suami untuk membaca surah Al-Mulk setiap hari untuk Allahyarham emak dan abah, semoga dapat membantu emak dan abah di alam baru mereka. Benarlah kata suami, tiada apa yang lebih bermakna buat emak dan abah sekarang ini selain kiriman doa yang tidak putus dari anak-anaknya.
Kerana itu jugalah, saya dan suami meletakkan mission membesarkan anak kami yaya bukan setakat kefahaman mission hidup biasa : cemerlang dengan deretan A semata, tetapi kami akan berasa amat berbahagia jika dia menjadi anak yang solehah, yang punya nilai dan prinsip hidup lurus, yang kenal siapa dirinya dan siapa Tuhannya, yang tahu apa yang harus dilakukannya di dunia ini, dan yang selalu mendoakan kami mama dan babahnya dan mengirimkan buah tangan pahala sewaktu kami tiada lagi peluang untuk berbuat amal di dunia ini.
Tapi mission ini takkan tercapai melainkan kami mengajarnya agama dan nilai hidup, kerana seorang anak hanya kain bersih yang kosong, ibu bapalah juga yang mecorakkannya. Semoga Allah membantu kami melaksanakan mission besar ini, Amin Ya Rob.
Recently my husband got himself a new book by Jalaludin Rahmat: “The Road to Muhammad”. An interesting book, he kept saying. Yes, he is absolutely right. The title itself forces me to agree with him. So whenever the book is on its own, I have this feeling that it is kinda calling me, waving at me...saying ”come to me..read me” .(isk, mcm berhantu pulak buku ni hehe)
So I started reading couple of pages...... I really like the introduction part, in which he talks about ‘why’ or ‘how’ the book came into existence. He said, every year around Maulidur Rasul he would write a book about Rasullullah (awesome, isn’t it?). Someone might say that there are many existing books about Rasullulah, why bother writing more? Well this guy doesn’t care if there’s even 3 millions of books about Rasullullah..because he wants to express his feelings, his gratitude, his love towards Nabi Muhammad, and this is his way: by writing books about him.
Some people just have their own, special way to express their love towards Nabi Muhammad. There’s this video we always let our daughter yaya to watch, it’s called “Madad Madad” (praising Rasullullah) by the Burdah Ensemble. It’s nice. Our yaya really likes it: she would shake her body up (and her mama would laugh looking at her). If you try to listen to or download this song from the Youtube, you’ll see that they call it: An Evening in the remembrance of THE BELOVED! It feels so touching..
Somehow, it got me to question myself: What have I done to show that I love Nabi Muhammad? Have I got any books I wrote for him? even any article?
I remember sometime ago, a week after the earthquake that hit Christchurch on Feb 22, there was this “2 minute silence” to remember the disaster that killed 200+ people. The idea was to remember, reflect, and be thankful that we are still alive. It’s a deep thought. Today I was wondering why we never had a “2 minute remembrance of Nabi Muhammad” everyday...to remember, reflect and be thankful to him for all he had done to us.
I really really wish I could write books or ebooks about Rasullullah in future. I even thought about writing other stuff related to him, like his beloved wife Saidatina Khadijah, in an effort to inspire women and wives (including myself) to be a good wife like her. But maybe this dream will come true in..say 3,5 years time. So why should I wait until then?
So I told myself that starting today I must selawat to Nabi as much as possible. This is the least I can do for now to show that I remember, love, and am thankful to him. And I will do it while I am in the middle of doing my routines: washing dishes, cooking, driving, walking...May not be the best time or way of doing it, but at least it’s practical.
Maybe you too could consider this your new habit?
Assalamu’alaikum to all,
I just wanted to share with all of you a very good ebook I’ve just read. It talks about the common big mistakes we might be doing while reciting Al-Fatihah in our daily prayers. The points made are very useful, on top of its very-easy-to-understand explanation. Oh, don’t be scared. I promise it won’t take up a large portion of your time. It took only about 15 minutes for a slow reader like me. So you can still have a read while waiting for your dinners to be ready, or your turn for shower, or a bus to arrive. And the good news is: it’s FREE. It worth RM 25 but apparently the author which happen to be my beloved handsome husband, decided to give it for free for those who wish to improve the quality of their prayer. 
Another good news is: you don’t have to go to a bookstore to get one for yourself. It can be downloaded from here
Simply put:
Good points + Easy to understand + Easily obtained + Free + Minimum reading time = IT WORTH IT!!
Do you remember how you felt at age of 8 when your strict father found out about your ‘secretly-eating-an-apple-at-1-pm-in-the-afternoon-during-the-month-of-Ramadhan’? I do. I was shocked to death. Camne boleh kantoi???!!!
Yesterday I was asked: ..
“what would happen if I die next hour? or tomorrow? Do I have any pahala I could rely on to save myself from the torture in the grave? and from the burning hell fire?”
I was shocked. Speechless. Because I know I don’t have a good answer to come out with. And because I know I wouldn’t like my answer, whatever it is.
The questions took me all the way back to recap what I have been doing my whole life, and to review what my typical everyday life has always been. I thought about it over and over.....but I couldn’t find anything out of my seemingly crammed schedule, something that was genuinely done for my akhirat. I didn’t count in my prayers. One, because I am very much aware of the quality of my prayers. Second, because those prayers are my obligation as Muslim. If you were given some money because you deserve it (like getting your salary) you don’t feel anything. It’s only when you receive a gift out of sudden that your heart melts. So prayers are out, zakat out, puasa out. What’s left? Possibly some good deeds that I have done like bringing a fried fish to school to feed two starving kittens that I saw the other day, or maybe helping my housemate to submit her homework when she rather slept soundly on the couch in the middle of hot sunny day.
But then I was again asked: “Do I think those were done sincerely?” I hate to agree that as I grew up I learnt the art of being less sincere. Something was usually done because of certain reasons and/or benefits, and these are almost always duniawi-based. I teach because that is my job. I wake up early for sahur because I didn’t want to be extremely hungry throughout the day. I did terawih prayers at the school’s musolla because everyone else at the school did. If sincerity is to be judged, I fail straight away.
I was too speechless to even answer the next question: What about my dosa? This time I was even afraid to think. It is countless!
We talked about this matter very deeply. We came to a point that it is the time now that we start to think seriously about our akhirat. This doesn’t mean that I stop working on my PhD research, or stop buying my all-time-favourite-M1-double-pearl buble tea. I am still looking around for garage sale on Saturday, and going to a fitness center for another swimming lesson. So what does it mean? It means that I need to start working on generating lots and lots of pahala for my akhirat. Improve quality of prayers. Truly learn Al-Quran, write more entries to spread wisdom and knowledge, selawat as much. sedekah. sedekah. sedekah. As I wrote this, I am terrified of how I will manage to do these stuff. They are easy, yet they are hardly done. But I remember Andrew Mathiew wrote in his book ‘Being Happy’ that human is subject to fear when we are not doing anything. The moment we take action, fear subsides. So I will try and keep trying. Because I might die anytime! A big truck’s brake paddles might suddenly not work as it is approaching a junction and I happen to be driving 10 meters in front of it. Somehow I might be falling off a ladder with my head badly hitting a giant rock, got heavily bleeding, and severely damaging the brain. Or I might have a heart attack for no obvious reason while cycling towards school. Or there might be something called cancer growing inside my body that I am not aware of. Nauzubillahiminzalik...
Because when the time comes, death comes. Dan bagi tiap-tiap umat ada tempoh (yang telah ditetapkan); maka apabila datang tempohnya, tidak dapat mereka dikemudiankan walau sesaatpun, dan tidak dapat pula mereka didahulukan.
Surah Al-A’raf, 34
May Allah help me, and all of us to strive for syurga...while we are still given the chance to live......Amin Ya Robbal Aa’lamin.
They say....."raya sebulan!"...
So I guess I'm not too late to say: Happy Aidilfitri to all :D
How was your raya this year? To me and husband, we are blessed with the presence of our new member in the family..our Yaya..she just turned to 9 months. Oh, I really love it when she wears that cute baju kurung. Anyways, thank you atok and nenet for the baju raya. Next year, yaya would want angpow pulak hehe...
Oh, raya in Malaysia must be so happening...
Thinking about Malaysia, it scares me a lot. We read from the news about people killed ruthlessly...we heard about all sorts of crimes that had never happened before...about how merciless people can be these days....
I am as scared as everybody else..
I remember one night we sit down together, discussing about what we need to do to protect ourselves: install alarm and cctv at home,.. and the list goes on.
Even with those precautions, I wonder if they are sufficient. I wonder if we are really safe and secured...
It was like a perfect time when last night we were discussing Surah Al-Falaq. Wanted to convey to me what this surah is telling us, my husband told me story about how a girl in New York was protected from the devil. Walking home alone late at night, she was passing by a large field when she noticed there was an evil looking man standing on her way. She was scared, but she just passed him by like nothing was about to happen. And nothing did happen!
But to her surprise, the next thing she knew was the news about another girl being raped at the same place where she saw that man, at the time a bit later than the time when she passed him by! So she went to the police station and gave description about the man she saw.
The question is, why was she not the victim when obviously she could have been? What had she done? What did she use?
Apparently, when she became suspicious of that guy, she prayed to Allah and sought for His protection from any possible bad intention of that guy. To us, it may sound like miracle. It is indeed magical and the magic actually lies in her strong believe in God, that He would protect her!
To me, that girl was one of a kind. If I were in that situation, I would be scared to death. I might not know what to do. and in no time I could be a victim. To play safe, I might not even walk alone at night in the first place.
But that girl is just another typical human being. She is no hero. But she sure understands what Surah Al-Falaq is all about. That is, in making sure that we are protected from any harm and bad intention of any ways: (1) not only that we have to do the necessary precautions, but (2) also seek for Allah's protection.
We always think about no. (1) but very seldom that we really do no. (2).
Well this applies at least to me, myself. And this is what I am learning from Surah Al-Falaq...to guard myself from any danger by making sure I do all necessary precautions, but most importantly seek the protection from Allah with the strong believe that yes, He will protect me... that everything comes from Him, and to Him we seek refuge.
Alhamdulillah..I am at ease, at least a bit. Because danger is still out there, but at least now I know that I always have the ultimate protection. I just seek.
And my husband told me a good prayer for such purpose. That is:Bismillahillazi la yadurru ma’asmihi syai’un fil ardi walaa fissama’ii, Wa huwassami ul ‘alim.
+ recite 3 quls + ayat kursi
(Aku berlindung dengan nama Allah yang tidak memberi kemudaratan dengan namanya apa sahaja di bumi dan langit, Dan Dia Maha Mendengar dan Maha Mengetahui)
May you find this useful. May Allah protect us all from any danger in any ways. Amin
It’s my 2nd Ramadhan in Christchurch. Last time, I was pregnant with Aliya...and so when I got really excited making this and that kueh (although tak berapa menjadi..biasala...first timer hihi)... people said that it was owing to my pregnancy. This time, surprisingly I got the same excitement. So I came to a (valid) conclusion that......no, I am just a cool, chef-wanna-be wife! (yet is limited edition: only during Ramadhan! hihi)
Talking about Ramadhan, I remembered being told that "the devils are all locked up during the holy month of Ramadhan"
Cool! No devils no evil!
Yet.....
Yet, my prayer is still not khusyuk...
Yet, I am still too lazy to get up and qiamullail
Yet, my heart is still full of sifat-sifat mazmumah
Yet, I can’t get away from sins!
I am so frustrated. I’m mad. To no one but myself. Myself who is no different during Ramadhan than at any other times.
I asked this little Siti Ujila: "why am I like this?"
and she replied: "Because your heart has so much 'dirt'..because you have done so many sins that even without the devils, you can be sinful. There are sins that have rather become your habit!"
Astaghfirullah...
Really..this has made me really sad. Sad and mad.
If the hidden 'dirt' in my heart could be seen from the outer, it must be really-really ugly, smelly, and faulty!
I pray to God, and I seek for His forgiveness.
Penghulu istighfar – I took its advantage of being the 'chief' of such a prayer, hoping that Allah would forgive me...Ya, Allah Engkaulah Tuhanku, Tidak ada Tuhan selain Engkau, Engkaulah yang menjadikan aku. Sedang aku adalah hambaMu dan aku di dalam genggamanMu dan di dalam perjanjian setia ( beriman dan Taat ) kepadaMu sekuat mampuku. Aku berlindung kepadaMu dari kejahatan yang telah ku lakukan. Aku mengakui atas segala nikmat yang telah Engkau berikan kepada ku dan aku mengaku segala dosaku. Maka ampunilah aku. Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang dapat mengampuni segala dosa kecuali Engkau. Amin
and I told myself, I must change. I must!
