So last night we sat down together..looking at the beautiful surah of Allah, the very last An-nas.
The key point that has gotten into me lies in the word of "was-was" mentioned in the 4th verse. When we talked about "was-was", all I remembered from my learning in the past was....."was-was masa amik wuduk". That’s about it. Never had I thought that it has greater deeper meaning.
We were talking about "was-was" when my husband looked me in the eyes and asked..."in this life, what is the most dangerous threat to us?" The question sounded quite serious, so I chose to keep my mouth shut and let him tell me the answer.
It is not the physical threat. not emotional threat like the lost of someone we love.....It is such a threat that the eyes cannot see
Ghuzwatul Fikri – it is called. Serangan Pemikiran. The name itself is as terrifying as it is.
I know about it. I have heard it before. many times. But I have never taken it seriously. All the warnings, all the sign I had ignored before, not realizing it had gotten into me..without me realizing it. Yes, it is unseen by my eyes. Slowly it influences me...and the next thing I know is my inability to see whether something is right or wrong..not according to me, not based on the world’s norm, but in the view of our God.
Silent killer, Ghuzwatul Fikri is. It attacks us Muslims without us realizing it. It deviates our stand and leads us to see something as OK when it used to be NOT OK based on the teaching of the Prophet. It brings uncertainties in our mind.
Ghuzwatul Fikri -Yes...this is the new type of "was-was" in today’s world.
Suddenly my mind flashed back to something that happen about two years ago...we were planning on where to go for our honeymoon...I really wanted to go to New Zealand at that time, but since the cost was a lot we should instead go to Mecca for an umrah, my husband said. Then I argued, what’s so wrong with going to New Zealand and not Mecca? Aren’t all places in this world the same?
Now I understand why my husband got really mad at me for what I was saying. Because I didn’t see Mecca as a very special place...a holy place indeed. Because I didn’t see the significance of Mecca as compared to other places and perceive all places as similar, no particular difference in value. Because it’s Ghuzwatul Fikri!
Astaghfirullahal’azim. My value has been wronged, could be from my five years living in the States. It was only 5 years yet I didn’t realize to what extent it has wronged me..not physically...but in my paradigm, the way I see things, my priority...
And now I understand, why it is not OK for me to spend most of my time on my laptop, books, doing my research....leaving no time for learning the book of Allah, reading the many Islamic books or simply any non-academic materials for the sake of improving my faith. Yes, me being passionate and workaholic is good as a human, but no..my priority was wrong. I have been too much influenced by the competitive life surrounded me in the States. Yes it was sooo hectic and I was soo occupied with my study and work that I didn’t realize my passion and hard work had all been for my dunia, when I should have given my akhirat more priority.
Binggo! another Ghuzwatul Fikri!
So I tell myself. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t study hard and publish many journals. That’s pessimist. But hey, when the time comes, close your book and perform your prayer....Make time for saham akhirat...read other books..go to usrah....I told myself.
From now onwards, I must “protect myself”..my unconscious mind....from this:
Min sharril was waasil khonnaas.
Dari kejahatan penyakit was-was (Ghuzwatul Fikri) yang sering datang dan pergi
Thanks to Allah for reminding me.
Thanks to surah An-nas.
It is beautiful indeed..